Does it make sense???

If i told you a secret about spacemen and chocolate, would you follow me into oblivion, would you follow me into the universe,
If i told you the secret was ignorance, that no spacemen would arrive, would it make any sense, would it make any sense -

View my live journal at www.moi-le-freak.livejournal.com


XX

LiveJournal

I've recently started a live journal, check it out on www.moi-le-freak.livejournal.com



KG

Once Upon A Time...

SOOOOO... I was caught up in thought the other day, I like to do that, just day dream away for as long as it takes, till I forget about time and anything around me. Sometimes thoughts appear like creatures, like some sort of curious creation of mine, and i am God. We are all Gods of our own universe, we all create our own reality and apply our own rules, When Columbus arrived in America, the natives didn't see the ships because they did not exist in their universe, there was no possibility of them existing. How strange to think that we could have people flying in the sky and we can't see them because we have been programmed to believe that it is an impossible feat.

I would like to hear your thoughts....


KG

AN OPEN LETTER... all the things i never said

Dear Aunty,

How are you doing? Hope things are well where you are. I hear it looks just like San Francisco in the clouds.
It's been a year and a half since I saw you last, or heard your voice, or met you for lunch, where have all the years gone.
Over two years ago now, at your most vulnerable, I remember you pulled me aside and thanked me for giving you the youth you never had, for being there for you, for being one of your best friends. That has touched me to this day, and I carry it with me always.
Now it is my turn to thank you.

Thank you, for always being there, even when I felt most alone, I always knew in the back of my mind that you were with me.
Thank you for all the fun times we spent together, up until sunrise, drinking coffee, smoking cigarettes and talking about the depths of our souls, always talking, and laughing.
Thank you for telling me it was okay to be myself, when everyone else tried to crush me, you held me up and shouted 'fuck you!' in main street with me!
Thank you for being my mother, in more ways than just one, you nurtured me spiritually, mentally and phsically.
Thank you for your words, your poetry inspired me to write some of my most beautiful work.
Thank you for dancing, Danza Del Sur is still going strong ya know, they're all still together, and they dance with joy in their hearts, the same joy you gave them in teaching them, that same joy you radiated to all who saw you on the stage.
Thank you for taking me out with you, for those great nights we spent dancing on tables and downing shots, fighting off the men!
Thank you for being beautiful, your beauty is still burned into my mind, the face I shall surely never forget is yours, those eyes whos kindness and fire incited me to revolution!
Thank you for standing by me in everything I did, when no one else believed in me, you did with all of your heart, you stood in silence with me in casemates and handed out fliers to the ingnorant public.
Thank you, for letting me know you, I have known you longer than any friend I shall ever have, and deeper than any. Yours is the first heart I saw exposed, the first raw love I ever felt, untainted by self editing and without a thought of what you 'had' to say.

You always said I was like your own son, the only difference is that you didn't give birth to me. Well i want you to know that you did give birth to be, you pulled me out of my shell of self hate, and dragged me out of my darkness kicking and screaming, wincing at the light. You gave me the life I have now, the confidence I enjoy now, the love I can now give to others, the love I have for myself, the smile on my face is all because of you, you gave me the most precious gift anyone could ever have given me.
You have taught me how to look adversity in the eye and scream 'I shall not be conquered by you!'
You taught me how to dream a dream, how to leave my body at night and visit the stars.
You taught me how to appreciate my parents, for their flaw was only that they are human, and mine was that I was to consumed by my own destruction.

From what I hear you went in peace, breathing softly, with your arms tucked under the pillow, what were you dreaming of? You were dancing, that's it, dancing, like the woman in your poem 'despierta'. Dancing in the clouds, the echoes of the earthly voices growing faint as you float away.

I remember you told me, that sometimes when you were hanging out the washing from your 12th floor window, you had considered jumping, not to commit suicide, but to fly, you had a dream, to fly through the air without wings.

Now you are free, you're free from these shackles of flesh and bone, fly, goddammit, fly! fly to your hearts content, visit the heavens, watch me while I sleep, kiss my brow goodnight.
I won't pretend I don't miss you, because I do with every cell in my being, wishing you were here has consumed me for months.
The blackness into which i stare at times bares my despair at the thought of never seeing you again, the rose from which I grew.

Thank you, eternally,

Your son

Kyle



"Yo Sueño Flamenco, Yo Sueño Distinto, Yo Lo Llevo Adentro, Porque Asi Lo E Vivido"

Mother!

My Birth was a gift,
The love you gave me every day without fail, a blessing,
Through tears of sorrow and screams of agony,
Through tears of Joy and Laughter,
Your voice would read me to sleep, and your voice still brings peace to my heart.



Thank you for everything you gave without knowing

Love you

XX

Age, Aged

Funny, age isn't it?
When we are in our teens, we want to grow up so fast, and then once we realise that the spark we once had, that youthful glimmer in our eyes has begun to dull, we race around trying to 'fix' it.
The only thing that is assured to us in life is a birth and a death, nothing more, all else is attained, but birth and death are given facts which we cannot refute.

The other day, I received the news that my mother is expecting another child, I am going to be 20 years older than this child and have no part in it's life, because I won't be around, and the age gap between my sisters isn't going to help either. I can't help feeling that this child is going to feel isolated, starting its life when everyone is busy sorting their own lives out.
But it made me think though, It made me remember, in essence, my own birth and childhood, and now that I can understand what it means to bring another life into this world (by understanding I mean that I am no longer a child who thought babies were delivered in the post) and I can also understand the events which shaped me with such clarity.



KG

Truth Is A Sign

Truth is a sign on a dusty highway, looked upon but never followed,
We are told as children that the truth will be our salvation, and is it?
Maybe the sun warped sign was right, maybe the desert is the lie.


A Thought,

KG

(I am meaning to expand, but just wanted to get that small thought out)

Cardiff! Cardiff! Cardiff!

(A Picture Of Mermaid Quay In Cardiff Bay)

I Love this city, everyone is polite and friendly, I've already met so many people in the short space of time that I've been here.
The architecture is stunning, the highstreet is fabulous (a bit too fabulous according to my aching bank balance hehehe) and just the feel of the place is so different, I feel totally at peace here, so comfortable and at peace.

Soooo, I guess that it's a good sign.

Even the gay scene is slightly more domesticated here, me having gotten used to the bitchy workings of a run of the mill gay club, I was taken aback.

Anyways, my mind has has been churning alot lately, alot of inspiration for alot more poetry. Maybe it's because I'm in love, or maybe it was them funky pills I took yesterday (any member of my family now reading this, please know, that it is a joke).

OoOo... Tomorrow night I'm going to be working at this big party in Cardiff giving Shiatsu massages, I'm so looking forward to it, there are gonna be so many people there and a 40ft inflatable church (hehehe, how apt) and people in fairy costumes and what not.

Anyways, will probably come up with something more that I wanted to say when i log off, so I'll fill you all in when I update next.

Toodles Poodles


KG

Return To Normality

It's been quite a few weeks since I last wrote, with all the christmas hustle and bustle I barely found the time. Not much has happened at all. It's just nice for everything to be back to normal.

KG